Self sabotage, who invited you to my party?

Self sabotage who invited you

I jumped out of bed this morning motivated to start my day, then suddenly from nowhere self sabotage appeared.

I didn’t notice it at first, almost like the uninvited guest who sits in the corner of the room at your party. 

As the party gets into full swing or in my case I begin to read other designers services, blogs, goals, look at their beautiful Instagram accounts, I began to feel a heavy presence of self doubt, imposter syndrome, unworthiness and every other name you can think of for self sabotage.
So now that I’ve acknowledge the uninvited guest in the room, how the F*** do I get rid of him (yes of course it’s a man, never a woman).

My first impulse is to have a bloody good chat with myself, pull myself together and get on with what I’m supposed to be doing.

But I can’t!

You know that feeling of knowing you should have done something but for the life of you can’t remember, yes that’s the one – in the pit of your stomach, I had it. I then find other ways to distract myself, I find myself on my favourite small biz website looking at all the beautiful curiosities they have  (here’s the link to my fav small biz) which makes me only want to go and start another project totally non-business related.

But still I can’t get out of this funk!

Perhaps writing about it will get me out of it, but doesn’t that make me look crap at my job, unprofessional, and a time waster?

But here’s the thing. . .

I work bloody long hours

90% of those hours are on my own

10% of those hours are when I should be enjoying life with my partner away from my business – that good thing called work life balance!

I’m not perfect, I never will be and never care to be.

I very, very, very rarely ask for help.

I’m always the cheerleader for others.

I’m not always compassionate to myself.

Why shouldn’t I write about my struggles?

At the end of the day, I’m a what you see is what you get type of person, today just to so happens to be a bad day, a day where I’ve compared my self to others, who are at completely different stage in their business to me.

Does this make me a failure or a bad business woman – HELL NO!

Does this make me real and authentic – HELL YES!

So now I need to get my shit together and deal with it (not sure how, but thinking a walk may be a good starting point).

Tell me, do you have days like this, how do you handle them?

I’d love to hear your stories, suggestions and thoughts on dealing with self sabotage.

2 Comments

  1. Steffany Collette

    You’re totally not alone in feeling like this. I’m starting out as a graphic designer ( actually I’ve been “starting out” for years) and imposter syndrome is something that really holds me back. Don’t worry. You’re doing great. I actually look up to you. 😉

    Reply
    • Emma

      Hey Steffany,

      Thank you for your comment, it’s a real ‘shit sandwich’ at times, but it’s about putting the blinkers on and not letting other peoples chapter 10 put you off writing chapter two!
      If ever you need a dose of motivation drop me a line.

      Keep smiling lovely lady. x

      Reply

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