"Can I Pick Your Brain?" How to Set Boundaries and Protect Your Time
You can stop the endless brain-picking without feeling guilty.
Ever had someone slide into your DMs with “Hey, quick question!” only for it to turn into a full-on strategy session—completely unpaid? You’re not alone.
This is brand relationship debt in action, and if you don’t set boundaries, it will drain your energy, time, and expertise.
If you've ever felt drained by endless "quick questions" and free strategy calls that go nowhere, you're not alone.
Brand Relationship Debt—when you pour time, energy, and expertise into someone who never reciprocates with commitment or investment.
It’s like going on a date where everything seems promising, you talk about future plans, and then… crickets.
You got ghosted. The same thing happens in business. People come to you for advice, take your insights, and then either do nothing with it—or worse, go in a completely different direction.
The good news?
You can stop the endless brain-picking without feeling guilty.
Here’s how to set firm but fair boundaries so your time is respected and valued.
Scenario 1: The Casual Inquiry (“Quick Question”)
🚩 The Problem: Someone drops into your DMs with “Hey, quick question…” but you know this isn’t going to be quick.
📌 Response:
“Great question! This is something I dive into with my clients. I’d love to help—here’s a link to my [paid offer, e.g., Power Hour, Relationship Debt Repair Kit] where we can go deeper and create a tailored plan for you.”
✔ Why It Works: You acknowledge their question but immediately set the expectation that your expertise is valuable and paid.
Scenario 2: The Repeat Freebie Seeker
🚩 The Problem: They keep asking for your insights—again and again—without ever investing in your services.
📌 Response:
“I love seeing your enthusiasm and questions—it shows you're serious about growth! To make sure you get the best results, I'd recommend booking a [Power Hour/session] where we can map out a clear strategy for you. Here’s the link to book: [Insert link]. I’d love to dive in with you properly!”
✔ Why It Works: This shifts the conversation from casual advice to serious commitment.
Scenario 3: The "Can We Jump on a Quick Call?" Ask
🚩 The Problem: They want to “hop on a quick call” (which is never actually quick) to “pick your brain.”
📌 Response:
“I’d love to help! I offer [short strategy calls/consultations] for exactly this. You can book a [15- or 30-minute] session here: [Insert booking link]. This ensures we have dedicated time to focus on your needs and give you real value.”
✔ Why It Works: It immediately frames your time as a paid resource, not an open-access hotline.
Scenario 4: The Post-Call Ghoster (Brand Relationship Debt Case)
🚩 The Problem: You gave them free strategy, and they either ghosted or did something totally different.
📌 Response:
“Hey [Name], I saw that you [did something different from the strategy we discussed]. I just wanted to check in—was there something specific that made you pivot? If you need a more tailored plan, I’d love to help you inside my [paid offer]. Let me know how you’d like to move forward!”
✔ Why It Works: It calls attention to the disconnect while offering a paid path forward.
Scenario 5: The Ongoing Free Help Requester
🚩 The Problem: Someone you’ve helped before keeps coming back for “just one more thing.”
📌 Response:
“I love that you're taking action! At this point, to give you the best support, I’d recommend my [paid service/product]. It’s designed to help you get [outcome they want] without second-guessing the next steps. Here’s the link: [Insert link]. Let me know how you’d like to proceed!”
✔ Why It Works: It acknowledges their progress while reinforcing that the next level requires investment.
Final Thought: Your Time is an Asset
You don’t owe anyone free consulting. If someone truly values your expertise, they’ll be willing to invest in it.
✅ Redirect them to a paid offer.
✅ Keep it positive and professional.
✅ Never apologise for valuing your time.
Let’s make brand relationship debt a thing of the past. Set your boundaries, protect your energy, and watch your business grow. 🚀
Which scenario do will you implement?