It wasn't the meetings that broke me.
Or the endless "quick coffee" dates.
Or even the constant pings from messaging apps.
It was the guilt.
The crushing, constant guilt of trying to be everything to everyone while slowly disappearing myself.
The Unraveling
I remember the exact moment my body said "enough." I was sitting in my fifth coffee meeting of the day, smiling and nodding, while inside my head was screaming. My hands were shaking so badly I could barely hold my cup. My chest felt tight. The room was spinning.
I excused myself, walked to my car, where the anxiety overwhelmed me.
This wasn't just normal overwhelm. This was my body and mind staging an intervention.
The numbers told one story:
60+ hours a week "networking"
25+ active projects
100+ "maintenance" relationships
Endless social media connections
But the real story was in what those numbers were costing me:
Chronic anxiety
Physical exhaustion
Creative depletion
Lost sense of self
I was the "queen of connection," but I had never felt more alone.
The Hard Stop
My doctor's words were simple: "Stop everything. Now."
But for a business owner built on relationships, what does "stop" even mean? My biggest fear wasn't letting others down – it was losing everything I'd built. My business was relationships. Or so I thought.
The first week of forced rest was torture. Every notification felt like a thread of my business unraveling. Every declined meeting felt like a failure. Every "no" felt like betrayal.
But in that painful pause, something unexpected happened: The world didn't end. My business didn't collapse. And slowly, I started to see things differently.
The Wake-Up Call
During my recovery, I started journaling about my relationships. I noticed patterns:
Some people drained my energy, while others recharged it
Certain connections had clear purpose, while others were habit
A few relationships consistently supported growth, while many kept me stuck
The deepest bonds required the least maintenance
The revelation was both liberating and heartbreaking: I had built a business on the myth that all relationships needed equal energy. I was living in relationship debt, constantly making withdrawals from my personal wellbeing to pay the interest on connections that weren't serving either party.
The Permission to Choose
Recovery taught me something powerful: Sustainability isn't about managing time – it's about managing energy. And not all relationships deserve equal energy.
I started asking different questions:
"Does this connection energise or drain me?"
"Is this relationship serving its purpose?"
"Am I maintaining this out of fear or value?"
"What would happen if I let this naturally fade?"
These questions became the seeds of the RSL Framework.
The Framework Takes Shape
As I rebuilt my business, I noticed that healthy relationships fell into natural categories:
Reason relationships
Served a specific purpose:
Clear objectives
Defined timelines
Natural conclusions
Mutual understanding
Season relationships
Supported growth:
Shared learning phases
Collaborative energy
Evolving purposes
Natural transitions
Lifetime relationships
Provided foundation:
Deep alignment
Effortless connection
Mutual support
Sustainable energy
Understanding these distinctions changed everything. It gave me permission to:
Let go of expired connections
Invest deeply where it mattered
Build boundaries with confidence
Trust the natural flow of relationships
The Transformation
Implementing this framework transformed not just my business, but my life:
My calendar cleared by 40%
My energy levels soared
My creativity returned
My revenue actually increased
But the biggest change was emotional:
The guilt disappeared
The anxiety lifted
The joy returned
The right relationships deepened
Your Permission Slip
If you're reading this and feeling the weight of too many relationships, the pressure to maintain every connection, the guilt of not being enough for everyone – I want you to know something:
You have permission to:
Be selective about your energy
Let relationships evolve or end
Maintain strong boundaries
Focus on what truly matters
Burnout taught me that sustainable business isn't about managing more relationships – it's about nurturing the right ones.
In December, I'm sharing the complete RSL Framework with my Chatterbox paid subscribers. It's everything I learned about building sustainable business relationships, transformed into a simple, practical system.
Because your business relationships should support your growth, not drain your energy.
Are you ready to build a more sustainable network?
Join to discover how to build sustainable business relationships in 2025.
Your Black Friday Exclusive is Live!
Regular Price: $160/year
Now Just $120/year – Save 25%!
That’s less than $10 a month to access the clarity, strategies, and tools that will drive your business forward in 2025.
This offer expires Nov. 30th 2024 at midnight GMT.
Let's create a new way of connecting – one that honours our energy, our purpose, and our peace.
With courage and conviction,
Share your story below:
Have you ever felt the pressure of maintaining too many business relationships? How has it affected your wellbeing?
This helped me to identify my own relationship debt and gain a higher level of clarity. I'm feeling encouraged to evaluate how my various relationships affect my energy now. I could always sense being drained around some people, but I hadn't made the direct connection before. Thank you.
As I read your article different relationships would come to mind.
As each person came to mind, I felt either drained or energized.
Your article liberated me from trying to be all to everyone and yet I was giving nothing.
My energy was completely depleted.
I am looking forward to the complete RSL Framework release in December to combat the unnecessary burnout I experience.
Thanks, Emma!